I awoke this morning with a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. I noticed it as the beginnings of wondering and doubt that come to me from time to time. Wondering and doubt about Healing Reign and what God is doing with it, what He wants me to do with it, what “exactly” is going to happen with it, can I possibly handle this task that He has laid out before me, will I do it right, will He be pleased, will I fail, why did He choose me, do I even want this responsibility, etc. etc. etc. Wondering and doubt that come from who? Not God, that’s for sure. The enemy? Absolutely!!! And when the wondering and doubt come, right after it comes what for me? Discouragement…that is if something doesn’t take the discouragement out of my mind. I thank God for putting that something in my mind this morning and I am extremely thankful that I recognized that something as being from Him. This is what God reminded me of…something that I haven’t thought about in a really long time!!
Years and years ago…when I was probably 7 years old, my mom’s two brothers, Junior and Clyde, both teenagers at the time, had ridden their bicycles almost 20 miles, all the way from White Horse Road area in Greenville, SC to Apalache in the Greer area for a visit. I remember that they spent the weekend with us. While they were there, my Uncle Junior and I were going to ride our bikes down to a close-by service station to pick up something for Mom. It was probably a little less than a mile away. Not a big deal, right? The road even, as I recall, was asphalt. The only thing was; the service station was at the bottom of a steep hill. At the bottom of that steep hill was Highway 29, and even back in the 60’s, it was quite busy. We started down the steep hill on our way to the service station, and I pedaled at first; my bike began to go faster and faster. I stopped pedaling. My bike was flying, and all of a sudden fear consumed me and there was this overwhelming panic inside of me. I felt that I was going too fast and that I was in danger. I wanted to slow down, I tried to slow down, but for some reason my brakes didn’t work. I put my bare feet down on the asphalt to stop my bike, but I was going too fast…the road burned my feet. Anxiety had completely taken over me. I began to cry out to my Uncle Junior who had been right beside me, just seconds before, but all of a sudden had sped up and was in front of me. “Junior!!” I called out, “Junior!!” He didn’t answer. “Junior!!” It was as if he didn’t hear me! He was pedaling faster and faster. He was leaving me! Why would he leave me?? I’m in trouble!! Highway 29 was in my mind and soon there it was in my sight. What am I going to do, how am I going to fix this?? I’m going to be killed!! My 7 year old mind was racing trying to find a quick solution to my major problem, I could feel the heat on my face from the terror that had taken control! “Junior!! Help me!! I can’t stop!! Junior!!!!” He’s gone on down the hill! He can’t hear me!! I could see Junior almost to the bottom of the hill. He’s going to turn toward the service station and then I won’t be able to see him. “Junior!! Help me,” I cried out again. And suddenly, Junior, at the very bottom of the hill, jumped from his bike, and as his bike was flung through the air and tumbled to the ground from the sling that he gave it, he turned and right-on-time, he grabbed my bike by the handle bars and stopped my bike “and” me from going out in front of an 18-wheeler that passed by just at that very moment. Our eyes met! Mine were filled with tears! “Why did you leave me, I cried. I couldn’t stop. My brakes gave out and you left me! I didn’t know what to do! I called you and you didn’t hear me!” He looked into my fearful, tear-filled eyes and said to me, “I didn’t leave you, I was right here. I knew you were in trouble, I heard you cry out, and I went ahead of you so I could help you.”And then, I knew that God was speaking to me, telling me, “I will never leave you. I am right here. I know when you are in trouble and when you are afraid. I hear your cries and I hear you when you call to me. I have already been where I have called you to go. I went ahead so I can help you. Trust Me. I will show you what to do. I have prepared the way for you and will be there for you right-on-time when you need me.”
Maybe you, too, are discouraged, maybe you know what I am talking about when I talk about that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I want you to know that God loves you. He is right there waiting for you to call out to Him. He knows when you are in trouble, He hears your cries. He will help you.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”